How to Win Friends & Influence People
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
– Dale Carnegie
This was the title of a famous book written by Dale Carnegie in 1936, it was a best seller and sold literally millions of copies. Obviously being an intrigued personal and professional developer myself, I decided to read the book. The strategies that I learnt helped me build lasting friendships in both my professional and personal life and left me wondering why everyone wasn’t using these.
The reality is that being a good person and doing good things doesn’t always come naturally to everybody, perhaps it’s the way we’ve been brought up, or perhaps something to do with our programming. There is no simple answer.
If you haven’t read the book, you’re in luck, because I’m going to give you some of the best points out of it which are guaranteed to help you build rapport with people, get people to like you, and influence them.
The first point that is really helpful and helped me win a lot of business, is to become genuinely interested in your clients. What does that actually mean? It means, look around their surroundings, look at their clothes, look at their cars, look at the pictures on their walls, ask about their kids, notice their pets, and then ask them questions about those things. Those are usually the most important things about them. At this point, it’s important not to flow into talking about yourself, simply sit and talk to them about what interests them and take an interest in those things.
The second point is a very, very important one and it’s surprisingly difficult to do, smile. If you smile the world will smile back. It’s always puzzled me that when walking down the street you can smile at a total stranger and in most cases, they’ll smile back. The other thing about smiling, is that if you are smiling on the phone people can actually hear you. Smiling is a big one to remember.
The third point is to remember their names. They say that a person’s name is the most important word in their vocabulary, so it’s essential to use their name. A little strategy that I use with names is, I try to think of someone who I know with the same name and then I link them up. For example, if someone is named Jess, I will link that person with the Jess I went to school with, so when I’m thinking of their name, I’ll relate it to Jess and easily remember their name.
These are just three ways that you can build rapport with potential clients. Below is a list of seven more things that you can do to ensure that people will like you and in turn come to trust you:
1. Ask lots of QUESTIONS, then listen and take notes
2. Make them feel IMPORTANT. Involve them in all your discussions and value their feedback.
3. Ask questions about THEM, their circumstances, time frame, as well as what they want to know from you.
4. Be calm and UNDERSTANDING.
5. DON’T BE DESPERATE, it stinks! Let go of the outcome and you will increase your income.
6. DON’T RUSH, take it slowly. Make sure you ask the question, “How much time do we have?”
7. Make sure you ask, “Can we SIT AT THE DINING TABLE?” Keep it formal, professional, and take control!
During my career as a successful Real Estate Agent, I used these points to build rapport with all of my clients. If you’d like to learn more about how to build rapport, register for my upcoming FREE half-day Real Estate Brilliance webinar by clicking the link below.